Nikmat Dalam Sebuah Ujian & Penantian

Bismillahirahmanirahim...

Alhamdulillah masih diberi rezeki dan nikmat untuk menghirup udara di bumi ciptaan NYA yang indah. Oh ya... sekarang ini, penulis sedang menikmati cuti pertengahan semester selama seminggu. Insya Allah hingga hujung minggu ini. Tugasan kuliah, persediaan peperiksaan semester sejurus ‘naik’ semester’ membuatkan hampir- hampir tiada istilah ‘cuti’ namun peluang yang diberi untuk bersama-sama keluarga tersayang tidak harus dilepaskan dan dibiarkan berlalu begitu sahaja.

Ujian serangan lelah@ asthma selama hampir 3 hari berturut- turut membuatkan semangat untuk melakukan tugasan sedikit luluh. Saat menghadap ubatan sebanyak 3- 4 jenis membuatkan diri berfikir sejenak “Alhamdulillah aku ada juga ubat untuk di makan kala diuji begini. Masih ada rezeki untuk mendapatkan rawatan terbaik. Juga yang paling penting sokongan yang tidak pernah putus daripada mama dan abah. Masih ada insan di luar sana yang hanya mampu terbaring menahan sakit saat mereka diuji. Malah ada antara anak- anak mereka terpaksa mengalah berhenti persekolahan untuk member peluang kepada ibubapa/ adik beradik yang sedang sakit untuk mendapatkan rawatan...”.

Saat terjaga beberapa ketika saat sedang beradu, ‘berperang’ untuk bernafas, tidak dinafikan perasaan takut menjalar dalam hati. Adakah sempat aku melafazkan taubat kepada Allah SWT? Adakah sudah cukup baktiku pada kedua ibubapa yang tidak pernah putus mendoakan anaknda sulung mereka ini? Kepada satu- satunya adik yang penulis ada...penulis sedar penulis bukanlah seorang kakak yang sempurna. Abah pernah memberi tahu bahawa ketika lahir tidak menangis. Malah tersenyum- tersengih. Tetapi, airmataku kini gugur juga ‘mengalah’ dengan kesakitan cubaan untuk bernafas.

Cuba melukis untuk mengalihkan perhatian. Menonton ‘series’ The Mentalist dan juga animasi Puss in Boots bersama-sama mama dan abah di laptop...ketawa kami bersama melegakan resah di dada. Laughter the best medicine, perhaps?

*****

Umur penulis Insya Allah tahun ini akan menginjak usia 25 tahun. Dan persoalan yang pasti tidak akan terlepas dari ditanya “Akak, bila nak bagi kad?”..”Bila nak nikah..” dan yang mempunyai maksud seumpamanya. Penulis masih lagi tersenyum saat diajukan soalan- soalan sebegitu. Dua tiga menjak ini bertalu- talu pula. Iyalah kan...ramai sahabat handai yang membuat kenduri kahwin, dan ada pula yang menerima berita gembira atas kehadiran bayi penyeri rumahtangga.

Siapa tidak mempunyai keinginan untuk memiliki dan dimiliki (ayat ‘skema’ orang), tidak begitu?

Penulis melihat keadaan masih ‘bersendirian’ ini dari beberapa sudut yang positif. Antaranya ialah:

1-Masa makan di kantin, restauran, kafetaria hatta di bilik kolej sekali pun lebih pantas kerana tidak perlu berborak- borak.

2-Jimat bil telefon. Agak-agak kalau dikumpulnya jumlah bil/ pre-paid yang digunakan, sudah boleh digunakan untuk belanja nikah.

3-Jimat duit belanja setiap bulan. Boleh menyimpan, menabung mahupun berbelanja sesuka hati tanpa perlu meminta pendapat pasangan terlebih dahulu.

4-Jadual harian yang bebas. Habis kuliah, boleh melepaskan penat dengan cara tersendri tanpa perlu memikirkan di mana mahu membawa buah hati tersayang makan, berjalan- jalan. Belum lagi pening kepala memikirkan “Baju apa nak pakai eh?’’.

Sekadar pendapat peribadi penulis sahaja. Namun penulis tumpang gembira dan mendoakan teman- teman yang telah menemui pasangan idaman kalbu masing- masing.

Penulis gembira dan bersyukur masih ada teman baik yang sudi berkongsi saat ketawa dan duka.

Suatu petikan ayat di dalam Surah An- Nur... Allah SWT ada menyebut bahawa “...lelaki yang baik untuk wanita yang baik...”. Penulis yakin bahawa Allah SWT mempunyai rancangan yang terbaik buat hamba- hambaNYA yang dikasihi. Penulis menanggap sedang diberi peluang untuk memperbaiki diri kerana pembinaan sebuah instituisi itu bukan setakat menyatakan AKU CINTA KAMU tetapi juga menguji kebijaksanaan hamba menjalankan amanah yang diberi.

*****

Astronaut: Simple Plan

Can anybody hear me?
Am I talking to myself?
My mind is running empty
In this search for someone else
Who doesn't look right through me.
It's all just static in my head
Can anybody tell me why I'm lonely like a satellite?

'Cause tonight I'm feeling like an astronaut
Sending SOS from this tiny box
And I lost all signal when I lifted off
Now I'm stuck out here and the world forgot
Can I please come down, cause I'm tired of drifting round and round
Can I please come down?

I'm deafened by the silence
Is it something that I've done?
I know that there are millions
I can't be the only one who's so disconnected
It's so different in my head.
Can anybody tell me why I'm lonely like a satellite?

'Cause tonight I'm feeling like an astronaut
Sending SOS from this tiny box
And I lost all signal when I lifted off
Now I'm stuck out here and the world forgot
[ From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/s/simple-plan-lyrics/astronaut-lyrics.html ]
Can I please come down, cause I'm tired of drifting round and round

Can I please come down?

Now I lie awake and scream in the zero gravity
And it's starting to weigh down on me.
Let's abort this mission now
Can I please come down?

So tonight I'm calling all astronauts
all the lonely people that the world forgot
If you hear my voice come pick me up
Are you out there?
'Cause you're all I've got!

And tonight I'm feeling like an astronaut
Sending SOS from this tiny box
And I lost all signal when I lifted off
Now I'm stuck out here and the world forgot

'Cause tonight I'm feeling like an astronaut
Sending SOS from this tiny box
To the lonely people that the world forgot
Are you out there?
'Cause you're all I've got!

Can I please come down?
'Cause I'm tired of drifting round and round.
Can I please come down? (x3)

****

Allah Knows Best

1408- 1433: 25 sudah...=)

Bismillahirahmanirahim...

Tadi masa dalam kelas graphic design, Mr Asyraf tanya " Siapa ingat tahun hijrah dia lahir?''. Alhamdulillah dalam sijil kelahiran pendaftar hospital ada tuliskan sekali. 1408 Hijri. Jadi, kebiasaannya, saya akan meraikan ulangtahun kelahiran 2 kali setahun: Sekali masa umur hijah (4 Rabiul Awwal) dan lagi sekali masa umur tahun masihi (27 Oktober).

*****

Oh ya...
Hampir 25 tahun bernafas di muka bumi ini...
Sebanyak manakah yang telah aku sumbangkan...
Yang telah aku lakukan...

Dan...
Siapa bisa mengetahui...
Sampai bila kaki ini akan terus melangkah...

*****

Muhasabah diri agar menjadi insan yang lebih baik, lebih bertaqwa dari hari ke hari...
Insya Allah.

Transformers...andai aku ini robot.

Bismillahirahmanirahim...

(Disclaimer: Inspired by Transformers)

Gambar Optimus Prime kat atas tu dah selamat saya selesaikan semalam. Assignment untuk kelas Certificate in Graphic Design. Need a lot of improvement still. Took me about 5 hours; 8pm- 12. Break sekejap untuk Solat Isya', ambil angin kat koridor.

Robot pun kena servis juga kan? Lama-lama guna, kalau dia penat, rosak. Tak berfungsi. Sama juga dengan kita. Tapi kita bukan robot. Kita ni manusia. Ada akal. Boleh fikir bila mana mahu berhenti sejenak andai penat melakukan tugas seharian. Ibadah. Tafakur. Zikir. Merehatkan minda menjana idea dan semangat baru.

Jom kita berusaha untuk menjadi insan yang lebih baik dan bertaqwa...

Insya Allah =)

Let us think =)

Bismillahirahmanirahim...

This may sound like funny but if we think again, somehow it is TRUE. Anyhow (like my lecturer likes to say), study for the sake of knowledge, to obtain His blessings. Untuk menjadi hambaNYA yang lebih bertaqwa...mudah-mudahan.

*ada apa dengan class rankings kita*

*betul ke?*

Allah Knows Best =)

''Kalau tak puasa, tak boleh nak raya tau..."

Bismillahirahmanirahim...

Tinggal lebih kurang sebulan setengah sahaja lagi kita akan melangkah masuk ke bulan Ramadhan al- Mubaraq.

Anda sudah bersedia? Oh...adakah diriku sudah bersedia untuk menyambut kehadiran bulan ibadah ini?

Semalam, teman mak ke pejabat PETRONAS TRAINING Bangi. Belek surat khabar. Di bahagian dalam, sudah ada rencana mengenai bengkel/ kelas-kelas masakan. Atau lebih tepat lagi, kelas buat kuih raya dengan chef-chef ternama Malaysia.

Senyum.

Buka televisyen, sudah mula promosi jualan perabot untuk raya. 90 hari tanpa bayaran. Wow. Ada tak dia nak bagi perabot tu free kat kita? Tak salah kalau nak tukar perabot (kalau kayu dh dimamah usia dsb) tetapi, semata-mata nak semua baru untuk raya sampai berhutang. Belum dikira faedah. Sat lagi, mesti keluar iklan 'kereta raya', 'langsir raya'...atau dah ada cuma saya sahaja tak sedar.

Jom kawan-kawan, kita persiapkan diri, hati & naluri untuk bulan Ramadhan akan datang.

Teringat zaman kita kecil dulu, orang-orang dewasa selalu cakap (sebab nak motivasikan budak-budak supaya puasa) : '' Tak puasa, tak boleh raya."

Dah dewasa dan matang ni, kita carilah motivasi pahala pula.

Peringatan untuk diri yang selalu leka.

The 'Said (Syed) & the Ones (Wan). Antara adik-adik sepupu. Raya 2010.

Allah Knows Best

Of Kuih Tart, Sewing, Life and Patience

Bismillahirahmanirahim...

1- Kuih Tart.

Kuih tart is one of my favourite 'kuih raya' besides popia mini. Could eat a jar (aigooo) while ignoring other cookies available on the table.

But I guess now it is not only limited during eid or Chinese New Year. As a solution to my love towards the cookie, I decided to try my hand in making it.

mini traffic light tarts- I guess

The process of baking is quite tedious, though. At first, I have to divide the dough into three parts. Each for three different colours- for the sake of little fun and happiness. Then, the stage of rolling the dough into small balls- not bigger than the size of keys on your laptop's keyboard- 1.5cm. After that, the step of stuffing the pineapple jam and rolling back the dough.Almost 1 1/2 hours. Luckily, the baking process doesn't take that much time. Only 12 minutes/ 180 Celsius for each batch.

It really tested my patience... something to learn and develop this virtue in myself.

But it's worth it. Alhamdulillah. Now I have the access to Kuih Tart whenever I want (^^,).

2. Sewing.

I like to sew. Arts and craft, to be exact. A bit slow when it comes to baju kurung. I remembered there's Sewing Class during my days in primary school (IIC-Adni). Teacher Asfalaila was the instructor back than. She taught us how to make applique (like patch work), blanket sticth and cross stitch. And now thanks a lot to my dearest mum for letting us (me & sister) to sometimes 'abuse' her sewing machine. During the previous 1 week school break, I 'buried' myself into this cross-stitch project. A bunch of purple flowers. 60% of completion. Dealing with 24 different colours of thread for this particular project...is fun.

3. Books.

Apart from sewing and cooking, I tried to read some books during the break. Found some old novel ( Serious Malay Literature- not that 'geli-geli' type) that abah bought years ago.

Went for groccery shopping with mama at Alamanda Putrajaya and there, MPH Bookstore hosted a warehouse sale in the concourse area. Their premise is currently under renovation. Treat myself with 3 new books. Alhamdulillah. Semoga koleksi buku yang ada dapat di wariskan dan dimanfaatkan oleh generasiku nanti...

4. Poetry

I hate writing. I hate seeing my own writings, actually. Besau =). I observed someone's writing in the person's book that is in my room at home. So kecik. Kadang jelous tengok tulisan orang yang kecil-kecik (lala). Tapi Alhamdulillah masih diberi kekuatan untuk menulis.

Had a chat with my best friend, Nurul. Over our online conversation, I typed a phrase of thought. Quite spontaneous.

''Usah kau bertanya mengapa ku bersedih. Usah kau soal mengapa ku menangis. Usah kau runsing mengapa ku berdiam. Kerana segala jawaban akan ku simpan erat menjadi sebuah rahsia..."

Ups and downs of life are sometimes too beautiful. Never mourn at a pouring heavy rain as who knows...it might gave you rainbows and sunshine.

Never compiled what I wrote. Its thrown everywhere...ahaaa (^^,)

Allah Knows Best.

Lights ahead...

Bismillahirahmanirahim....

En premir lugar,lo siento para ser emocional. Awwalu kalaam, ana aasif litakun aatofiyyah. First of all, I would like to say sorry for being emotional.

(update: Alhamduillah am already 100% ok after some du'as last nite =) )

Yup. Like the emoticon chart I pasted on my office wall, one of the smileys stated as " I didn't know why I cried''. Just ignore me. Will be alright in no time. ('',). I know I have to learn to stand strong on my own. Had an online conversation with a former colleague. Normal conversation like "apa khabar etc...''. Few seconds later, she asked "Are you having prob?''. Errk...haish. Belum taip apa-apa lagi masa tu. Emotional issue. Tentang seketul daging bernama hati. I've been asked few time " Macam mana nak tau kalau Mairah ni tgh marah ke, sedih ke..". I answered " Only those who are closed to me understands me". 6th sense? Sometimes. Sebab saya ni kadang keras macam batu tapi dalam hati hanya Allah yang tahu. Ok. I don't want to wet my laptop with my tears...sobb...sobb...

Ok. Now we proceed to the happy chapter of today's life journey...

Slept last night with the Qur'an recitations runs in my laptop and put on my headphone until Subh. With the intention to strengthen memorization of few surahs. Sleeps easily and Alhamdulillah woke up fresh.

This week is my MINGGU BERTUGAS. Handling the assembly, attend to students' problems etc. Good early start during the assembly. As MAULIDUR RASUL is on Tuesday (15/2), one of the ustaz hold a small talk about PROPHET MUHAMMAD S.A.W. Before he begins, he turned on Maher Zain's song. Teringat masih ada 'hutang lagu' / request from my students (sorry kids still didn't have time)...kira hari ini selesai, aci tak?

Conducted a small ART THERAPY during my Science class in 1 Yasir today. I gave each of them small pieces of plasticine to turn into any desired shapes. Alhamdulillah... saw many budding artist today. I also learn more about their personalities through their art pieces.

I was asked to replace a teacher who was on leave as I got only 1 teaching session today. The kids (some of them whom I taught Science during standard 1 last year) asked " Muallimah, kenapa tahun ni tak ajar kitorang (darjah 2) Sains?''. Sometimes later in the washroom, met those kids again. I smiled when they said ''Muallimah ni baik kan. Kenapa tahun ni muallimah tak ajar kitorang''. Huh? Garang pun baik kah anak-anak ku?

A student gave me fruit pizza...yummy. Alhamdulillah. Got another idea on what recipe/ food to make. Thank you Aqeelah dear.

At night, sometimes after Isya', had some conversations with Kak Tasha, a mother of two who reverted to Islam from Christianity...teaching her some du'a recitations and answering questions related to Islam. Through our conversation, I learnt about the stages of voices in singing (as Kak Tasha was a member of a choir team before). Stage 1-4. Almost similar in Quranic Recitation as in Quranic Recitation, there are: suara dari mulut, suara perut, suara kepala (paling susah kontrol), and suara tekak. Still in the stage of improving and learning. Browsed through the net and found a tarannum song that I once taught to my students in Kelab Nasyid back in 2008.

Last but not least, a mini clay art...out of boredom. Hope they'll dry and hardened by morning.

Left my box of paints at home, so only managed to use these three available colors.

p/s: Salam Maulidur Rasul & Happy 25TH Anniversary to my dearest parents Mr Ismail Ahmed and Mrs Sharifah Muznirah (12 Rabiul Awwal 1407/ 14 November 1986)

Allah Knows Best

CNY: Its about you, me, and us all

Bismillahirahmanirahim...

Alhamdulillah today, I had the chance to join the CNY Celebration at Abdullah Chan Restaurant in Melawati. An event organized by the Hidayah Centre and few other NGO bodies.

10:30am-11:10am

Am glad I didn't have to donate any money yet to this machine. Jimat duit minyak kereta pun ya. Tak yah fikir pasal nak parking mana pun ya. Masih belum ada keperluan. Simpan lesen baik- baik dalam wallet. Oh ya...kurang risiko kena saman dengan JPJ...hihi

Arrived at Melawati around 10:30. Early, isn't it? Motive: Wanted to take a look at some of the art shops around the area. If given the chance, I could spend hours browsing and 'sitting' in this kind of shops (instead of handbags and shoe shops). Geram tengok kaler and pensel macam-macam jenis... Found and bought these:

Paper clay for an art project + compass to be used in my khat/ calligraphy works.

And...also singgah at this shop... but the ingredients that I want are not available. So, I guess I need to wait until I return to Bangi to bake something...

11:10am- 11:30am

The event kicks off with its first session of lion dance performed by a group from Rawang. My first experience in watching such show.

Agaknya orang ni bagi amanat kot...

11:30am- 1:30 pm

The programme continues with few more rounds of lion dance. Two of this clowns make their rounds while sculpting balloons. Ok. Nak mintak, dah bukan budak-budak. Dah boleh jadi mak budak kira.

And the picture/ scene that I love most is...a girl doing some colourings in her book while accompanied by her dad. Remembered that abah always bought me and my sister books to occupy our time. I think I'll 'pass down this tradition' to my kids in the future, Insya Allah.

Had a simple wonderful lunch at around 12:45pm. Took sauced fish fillet, baby kailan cooked with oyster sauce, roasted chicken and thai style squid. Accompanied with a cup of Chinese Tea. Alhamdulillah. I know why I like Chinese style cooking-simple yet yummy. Especially the fish dish.

Made an early move back as thinking that...ESOK KERJA. And this week is my MINGGU BERTUGAS. And...the sports day practice will start as the big day (mini sports day and Sambutan 25 Tahun Pusat Pendidikan Al-Amin) will arrive in less than 2 weeks (early March). Saya memang busy...

*****end of journal*****

I am fortunate and thankful to be invited and acknowledged about this programme. Told mum earlier about it as I am a bit 'lemah' if she asked 'Balik tak minggu ni' (her subtle way of saying 'SILA BALIK MINGGU INI...hihi). Could made the decision to go back home even not planned much earlier (abah dah kata, selagi belum kahwin, dok la khidmat dengan mama kamu. Nanti, nak balik pun kena minta izin). Ok ma...will go back home this weekend, Insya Allah. Abah also called the day before. Happily chatting. As usual.

Invited Uncle Alex to join the event but unfortunately he got some family matters to attend to.

Met an uncle by the name of Mr Lee (kan?). Learn so many things throughout conversations with him. About lion dance. Wow. So amazed to hear that the Malaysian lion dance group won four times consequentially. Beating teams from Macau, Hong Kong etc. It required good coordination of music combined with balancing and acrobatic act.

Secondly is about the unity of races in a state here in Malaysia. Even the Chinese involved in the dikir barat and could even speak good dialect of the area.

Thirdly...about China. Its business culture and nature. And the district of Beijing. Food. Ok. Food. I just grinned when he told about the large food portions. Especially the specialty local kambing dish. Kenduri sepupu hari tu bau lauk kamping pun dah tak nak makan...walau kena pujuk oleh mama. Aiyaaa...did I need to learn how to enjoy kambing dish?

Fourthly...as what I've always think, wonder and ponder all this while. Amazed why sometimes reverts are seem stronger in their understanding and practices of Islam. Subhanallah. Masya Allah. The key is...never take for granted for what we already have. Even if we are born as a Muslim, to a Muslim parents and family, we still have to make the effort to search for more knowledge from time to time.

Ilmu di bumi Allah SWT ini sangat luas dan tidak akan pernah habis ditulis walau digunakan tujuh lautan sebagai dakwat ilmu dan semua daunan sebagai hamparan tulisan.

p/s:
a) Other pictures...waiting for a sahabah to upload the story ;). Bahagi gambar separuh-separuh.

b) Finished ironing stocks of tudungs and clothings for 2 weeks wear...prektis jadi seorang suri rumah.

c) Today in the history of Miss J (bak kata Miss Nemo)...jadi pendiam. Rehat kejap la dari bercakap ni. Dah hari-hari dok ngajar dan lecture budak-budak.

d) Mission to fulfill the request to teach a Christian revert lady the Qur'an. May Allah give the strength in sharing the wonderful knowledge.

Allah Knows Best

Une Bonne Education

Bismillahirahmanirahim...

(I guess I'm addicted to these cute Minuscule videos)




One fine day (I can't exactly remember when) around this month, watched the news and there, one of Malaysia's leader said that they will use new ways and methods in approaching the youngsters today. One of the reason is due to the rise of criminal cases and problems they involved in.

What methods? Is it again concerts, shows, gigs, reality shows, weird fashions? It is what I observe nowadays.

Or by encouraging mat rempit by making a circuit (litar lumba) for them? I just giggled to myself upon hearing this. Mat rempit is not the same as KL Grand Prix Motor Sport. I bet Valentino Rossi and Schumacher themselves doesn't go around the city on their big bikes and endangering others on the road. Carrying around 'girlfriend' that shall be used as a 'payment or reward' for their racing, making noises late in the night. Still want to make a special racing circuit for them? Ada idea tak nak buat litar untuk bas? Without the passengers on board. *sigh*

It is a good idea if they are planning to organize motivation camp that is packed with the element of ruuh or ibadah. They could also make a campaign (and SHOW EXAMPLE) to encourage youngsters to perform solat and other related ibadah at the mosque, tadabbur Al- Qur'an, respect others and themselves.

"Sesungguhnya jihad yang paling susah adalah melawan hawa nafsu diri sendiri"

Being in the field of education for almost 5 years (including my part time teachings) made me aware the importance of showing good examples. I know that students like to observe their teacher- what we wear, our style of presentation, how we speak. What's more if its the persons closest to themselves such as their parents and family members.

There are 24 hours in a day-7 hours only students spend their time in school. What about the remaining 17 hours? Most probably at home right?.

I once wrote about what my lecturer, Dr Haslina said. She told the class that a child's education begun the moment on how mum and dad met.

A sahabah once met the Prophet S.A.W to complain about his son's bad manners and adab. The Prophet S.A.W then said that that particular sahabah had chosen the wrong mother for the son.

(muhasabah diri sat...)

And my mum said what the father did during pregnancy also influences a child's attitude and manners. And later how parents educate their children during their childhood years. Did they just leave the responsibilities to the hands of child-care centers or a bibik and return back from work when the kids are already asleep?

Another important factor in a child's education and tarbiyyah is food. What they consume-halal toyyiba. Scientifically and from the religious aspect. What did a kid eat, how did his/ parents obtain or prepares it, did the child remember (or did his parents teach him the related adabs of eating)? Are the food healthy and nutritious? Me myself...could count how many glasses of carbonated drinks I consumed each year. 1-2 glasses the most. Not really glasses. Just few sips.

I am also really thankful to mum for not teaching us (me and sister) to eat junk foods (the Javanese said: Jajan). Until now, I only eat pieces of asam/ jeruk just to merasa. Want a more finger licking food? Don't forget dashes of sincerity, salawat, and observe your prayers and ibadah.

Would I be the best educator for my kids?

Une Bonne Education- French words meaning: A Good Education.

A kind reminder to my self.

Allah Knows Best.

Cheesecake philosophy: Patience, Appreciation and Beauty

Bismillahirahmanirahim...

Just finished making a pink blueberry cheesecake. Pink? Yup. The colour I dislike most but sometimes, why don't we bake a coloured cheesecake instead of the usual cream coloured ones?.Anak sulung Puan Sharifah ni kalau bagi masak, macam-macam jadi nya nanti... but thanks mama for always supporting me to cook and bake.

Before pouring the blueberry jam....sila jangan pengsan lihat kaler dia.

Cheesecake is the cake with the least ingredients needed...creamcheese, sugar and eggs. As for the base, you will only need few pieces of cream crackers, few tablespoons of butter, dashes of sugar. But the whole process from the preparation stage, baking, and refrigerating took at least 4 hours. First you have to bake the biscuit base (10 minutes), then you pour in the cheese mixture, pop it in the oven (35 minutes) and later, put it in the refrigerator to set (at least 3 hours. The best is overnight).

It really need a lot of patience and careful observation. Making sure you does not over beat. Making sure that the texture is just right. Making sure that the crust doesn't burn. But the waiting is really worth it...Insya Allah.

Our life's like that. We basically need the same thing to keep breathing-air, water, shelter, money, health, etc. But each of us have to go to different process for each of their needs. Some people may own luxury cars, a mansion, heaps of money to spend. While others may just own a motorcycle, lives with his wife and kids in a small apartment. But those men in the two different groups must know how to control and take care of their life. The most important thing is to always remember to groom our faith and 'ibadah as He is the One who rewards us with the privileges we have now. Only then we shall feel the ni'mah or zouq of iman and living with His blessings.

Tests...is a must. Hardships...is a must. Tears...is a must. Or else, life would only be blank. And quiet.

Kadangkala, kita meminta akan rama-rama yang indah tetapi hanya menerima seekor ulat. Kita mengeluh dan berputus asa untuk berdoa serta berusaha. Namun kita tidak menyedari bahawa ulat tersebut akan menjadi seekor rama-rama yang indah.

Allah Knows Best

6th Sense experience?

Bismillahirahmanirahim...

I am still thinking....about 6th Sense. Ok. Not that famous movie I've never watched or a music band. It's part of parapsychology phenomena. Sensing something that is not even there or popped in front of you yet.

Been thinking to hard till a person I didn't know said in my dream last night: You've got a high level of 6th Sense. Macam cerita Star Wars pula dah...haha.

Few things happened to me. Kadang scary pun ada. Kadang suka. Kadang biasa. Yang penting, macam-macam rasa ada ('',).

Rabbana la tuzi' quluubana ba'da iz hadaitana innaka anta wahab- Ya Allah...Strengthen my heart after You've gave us guidance...

Ya Muqalliba Quluub, thabbit qulubana 'ala toatiq- Wahai Tuhan yang membolak-balikkan jiwa, tetapkanlah hati kami dalam ketaatan padaMU...

apa kata Encik Ulat?

Allah Knows Best

Thank You Bintulu...!

Bismillahirahmanirahim...

(mun Nemo baca mesti nya madah:Kak J , tak habis2 Bintulu...) Hee...for the sake of experience and record. Mana tau nanti ada nemiak tanya. Payah dibuatnya terkebil-kebil maknya nak jawab nanti...

Day 3: 15/ December/ 2010

Nothing much done today except helped the housekeeping makcik to tidy up the room before she came...kesian pula kat dia banyak bilik nak kemas...washed the cups used, wiped the sink top in the bathroom...then, when the housekeeping makcik came, she just need to change the towels and do some arrangement according to the hotel standard. Terima Kasih makcik for keeping our room tidy during our 3 nights stay there. Thank you for teaching me a Sarawak slang/ word: Auk- which means "yes". First time heard from the people of Sarawak themselves.

When the clock strike 7pm, me and mum went for our dinner and looking for some gifts to be taken home. As usual, when someone who doesn't like shopping...tak reti nak cari barang or late in making choices. At last, grabbed a long sleeved t-shirt and few key chains with Sarawak 'identity'.

Day 4: 16/ December/ 2010 (Final Day)

Aritok last day in Bintulu... had breakfast with mum at the cafetaria then we checked-out from the hotel. We then take a taxi to the airport to catch our flight scheduled at 10:00am. Alhamdulillah landed safely at LCCT Sepang about 12:20pm.

Few things learn during my 4 days and three nights stay in Bintulu:

1- Kalau lah kamek tok seorang Manager ataupun staff kat airline kompeni tu, dah lama suh crew cabin wanita pakai seluar panjang instead off skirt. Rambut tu kalau kalau tak nak pakai tudung pun, please jangan kaler pelik-pelik. Tapi sah-sah lah tak boleh kan...tapi mana tau hati sidak berubah...

2- Foods: Not so many choices. Terima dengan seadanya ada yang ada and for sure, have to be careful in making selections. Kerana makanan itu akan menjadi darah dan darah itu akan menjadi sebahagian diri kita dan seterusnya menjadi sebahagian dari akhlaq diri.

3- Newspaper: First time in my life that I learn to read a local newspaper- SARAWAK TRIBUNE. The format and layout are almost similar to New Straits Time here.

4- Radio: I almost forgotten that the radio frequencies set in my hand phone are Lembah Klang's frequencies. Trying for auto search mode. Dapat la dengar station radio Sarawak :). Buat-buat faham auk apa sidak madah (madah-Sarawak slang meaning "Say'').

5- People: Alhamdulillah the people here are friendly. Feel much welcomed.

Hope to have the opportunity to explore the world in future.

Allah Knows Best

Jaulah Bintulu: Day 2

Bismillahirahmanirahim...

Day 2 in Bintulu...

Mum starts her training officially today. Did nothing much till she returns back from her session at 4:30pm. Ordered a plate of Spagetthi Bolognese from the hotel room service. Well, am new here so, am not brave enough yet to explore this area alone. Also did a little bit of practice with my khat :p.

At around 5:00pm, went to the beach a.k.a Bintulu Waterfront Promenade.

Rules and obligations of B.W.P. From what I've observed, the beach is clean. 4.5 star from me... the facilities are also well managed and taken care of.

Apa agaknya rezeki pakcik ini hari ni?

We later went to the area that we went for dinner last night but this time around we explore some shops outside the complex. Well...most shops are already closed by 5:30-6:00pm so there's nothing much to see. The same environment and situation as the beach earlier. This little town is clean...and the traffic is not as hectic and busy as Kuala Lumpur.

Their spontaneus, sporting and cheerful reaction upon seeing me holding my camera.

Mano eh pokcik nak gi?

As I kept thinking from yesterday, the Christmas fever here seems a bit more 'happening'. In KL, it is normal to see Christmas trees being placed in malls, with some lighting decorations, mock presents placed underneath the tree. Here, almost every shops that I go, their staffs wear the red Christmas cap and the decorations are a bit 'heavier'. Maybe I forget to do some research about their culture, community and religion before coming here. Well, my first task upon reaching home later, I guess.

Jalan-jalan, nampak tanda ni. I'm still thinking and guessing what's this SIDANG INJIL BORNEO? A church? A hall? Association?

Stopped by a bookstore...(mama kata:macam la takda kedai buku kat Bangi tu)...theeee...apa nak buat. Dah suka... At 7:00pm, the hotel shuttle bus came to pick us up from the mall.

The shuttle bus was driven fastly. A bit blurry though this picture. This shop sign reads : 100% Discount Store. Does it mean all items are free of charge? Or they are actually trying to say that the prices of every items in the shop are discounted ?

Trying to take the picture of a shop signboard but as again the bus was too fast, this is what I got.

p/s: Ya Allah, aku bersyukur kerna di beri peluang dan dibukakan hati untuk melihat dan menghargai keindahan alam ciptaan-MU.

Allah Knows Best ('',)

Inverted U-Theory

Bismillahirahmanirahim...

This graph below is called:

The Inverted-U Theory or Optimal Level of Arousal

It basically explains a person's optimal level of arousal or motivation. Too much arousal or too little arousal results in low performance whereas, having a moderate level of arousal results in the highest level of performance. Before I talk more, let me explain some basic related concepts:

1- Stressors: It is the situations that cause stress. For example, examination, wedding, interviews, sports tournament.

2- Strains: The consequence of stress.

3- Eustress: Positive stress.

4-Distress: Bad/ negative stress.

Now, we shall look back at the graph.

When you have too little amount of stress...you will have no motivation to do your work. For example, examination. Yes. Thinking about it already trigger some level of stress in our self. Avoiding it, by not reading your books or even try to take a peek at your your notes, will not make the situation any better. The chance of us to perform in examination is low (unless miracle happens or you are a genius).

In contrast, when your level of stress is too high, your performance level will drop. I will still use the same example. Examination. How many of us aimed to obtain 5A's for our USPR examination? Or 9A's for our PMR? 4 flat for our degree? It's every person's dream, right? It is good to put as much of our effort in achieving our goals but we should also take into consideration our abilities and capabilities. As there is a Malay sayings that goes like this:

''Ukur baju di badan sendiri...''

You study till the wee hours of the morning, ignore your meal times but forget that your mother always say "Don't forget to take your meals, dear'' as you have gastritis a.k.a gastric. Stress will also make your gastritis more severe and probably, if you still continue with your style of study, you may just have to take a rest at the hospital and not able to take your examinations.

Maintaining an optimal level of stress or arousal is the best thing to do. For example in the office or at our workplace. The beginning of the year (January) and the end of the year (December) is the 'peak hours' of stress. In January, you will find yourself busy planning for the year ahead and at the end of the year, you find yourself stuck in the meeting room discussing about the things happened throughout the year, finding the best ways to improve it and prepare for next year.

In this situation, it is best to get to know yourself. Some people, headache is the sign that their stress level is at peak, some people loss their appetite, some people cry, while to some extend, they resorted to drug abuse or commit suicide. As a Muslim, it is best for us to take wudhu', perform prayer, zikr. You can also take a break by observing the beauty of nature created by Allah S.W.T, have a tea break or take a nap.

Rasulullah S.AW thousands of years ago recommended his ummah for qailullah or short afternoon nap. It is only now, people discovered the benefit of qailullah or they called it as siesta. Taking a short nap (particularly during lunch hour)will motivate and help us to perform better. But remember! Not too long until you totally forget about your work or your Zuhur prayer.

Al- 'Aql Saleem fil Jism Saleem

memikirkan cuti yang tinggal 2 minggu sahaja lagi...

Allah Knows Best

Kids

Bismillahrahmanirahim....

Its school break now and Alhamdulillah I am enjoying it. A bit bored, actually as it is quite quiet here. Those who know me, knows that I am a noisy type of person and could be easily stressed if there's nothing to do...specifically...no one to joke and kacau-kacau.

Usually, during my working days, while on my way out to wait for the bus to school, I will pass by the tadika and childcare centre owned by person whom I am staying with. Stopped for a while and observe them. Sometimes, while getting ready for work, could hear the kids reading aloud from their books or sing...

Upon arrival at school, I will usually be greeted by my students running and playing while waiting for class to start...running after them, scolding them, teaching them is my daily routine there.

One fine day...some students asked me : "Nama anak muallimah apa?". Then, the following week, this question came to me: "Anak muallimah perempuan kan?". Could only smile to them as the answer.

As about the name, I like to name my kids Ziyad Fikri, Umair, Nu'man Az- Zahrawi, Amaani Syifaa', Mariyyah Yusra, Naura Faatihah...each with its own special meaning. And the ideas came in random. In class, travel, while pondering etc. Only with the agreement from their abah. If not, what can I do...hihi. How many kids? Wish I could have many...accept the rizq from Allah. My father said " Nak buat rumah luas sikit. Biar cucu-cucu boleh main-main..".

Tapi...sekarang. Orang kata, pendidikan anak bermula masa mama dia muda a.k.a single. Eh...cik meow, aku baik tak? Perasan kan? Ok. Baik jangan jeling aku macam tu...nanti I tak nak kasi ikan baru tau...

Nanti boleh panggil-panggil anak-anak untuk makan, baca buku dan Qur'an, tolong masak-tanam pokok dan menjahit...

Mission: Improve myself.

Du'a: Searching for a person who could make me smile, tenang, more patient...ketidaksempurnaan itulah yang saling melengkapkan diri...

May I be a good wife and mother in the future.

Allah Knows Best.

Jagalah hatimu ;)

Bismillahirahmanirahim...

Lama rasanya tidak mengeluarkan belanja untuk membeli bahan bacaan atau majalah. Alhamdulillah hari ini, dikeluarkan sedikit daripada pendapatanku untuk membeli 2 majalah keluaran terbaru Solusi dan 1 back issue yang di ulang cetak....

Ingin dikongsi sedikit kata-kata hikmah yang terdapat dalam majalah tersebut...sebuah petikan hadith daripada Rasulullah S.A.W...peringatan dan semangat buat diri yang sering hanyut, leka, dan alpa:

" Keadaan orang Mukmin itu sangat menakjubkan, kerana segala urusan yang menimpanya dianggap baik. Tetapi keadaan ini hanya berlaku kepada orang yang beriman. Iaitu apabila mendapat kesenangan, dia bersyukur kerana itu lebih baik untuknya. Dan apabila dilanda kesusahan dia bersabar, kerana itu lebih untuknya"

(Riwayat Muslim daripada Abu Yahya Syuhaib bin Sinan r.a)

"Carilah hatimu sewaktu membaca al-Qur'an. Jika kau tidak temui, carilah hatimu ketika mengerjakan solat. Jika kau tidak temui, carilah hatimu ketika duduk tafakur mengingati mati. Jika kau tidak temui juga, berdoalah kepada Allah S.W.T, pinta hati yang baru..."

Tuan pengetua di tempat saya mengajar pernah menyatakan yang berikut semasa tazkirah sebelum memulakan mesyuarat:

Hanya hati yang suci dapat memimpin hati yang lain

Allah Knows Best

...Blank Thought...

Bismillahirahmanirahim...

I'm not sure what am I thinking right now
I'm not sure what am I feeling right now

Sometimes I feel like crying
Sometimes I feel like smiling

Picking up the pieces
Unsure
Confused
Where shall I start?
Where's the beginning?

Ya Allah...forgive me
Ya Allah...gave me strength
To face the world

p/s: Hendak ke kiri atau kanan...

20-10-2010 ...today in history

Bismillahirahmanirahim...

Alhamdulillah..today, after 1 year of undergoing a procedure for my spine injury, I could conduct netball training. Starting from Monday actually as the students will be having a tournament against Al-Amin KL on the 2nd of November. Alhamdulillah...life is getting better day by day. Some of the teachers who know about my history started to worry. Me? Arrived at school today at 8:00am sharp (my check-in time is actually 10:30am-for afternoon session teachers). Having a sauna under the sun training them for about 2 hours. Siapa kenal saya, tahu tahap degil tang mana....

My solat...after months (years?) of enduring pain to make sujud properly and sometimes have to perform solat in a sitting position could be performed in a better manner(sedih...anggota sujud yang antara akan jadi saksi tika Hari Akhirat nanti). Moga doa, solat, ibadah dan taubat diterima oleh Allah Yang Maha Penyayang... Speaking about sujud, last night, as I was trying to get myself to sleep, I listened to a radio station. It was talking about sujud. Among the hikmah of sujud is it could bring/ lower down our ego as most of our senses and important body parts such as our eyes, nose, ears, head are placed on the floor.

What I remembered most after the procedure was to endure the after-effects...as it was done just 1 week before final examination. Nausea, tons of medications to be taken dutifully... That particular semester, I have to do checkups every 3 weeks- once a month. Dengan muka tebal...selalu minta cuti kat lecturer...Alhamdulillah. With the courage and aims for success, I am now a Psychology graduate and alumni of IIUM...without having to take study leave and extend my semesters.

*the smile after going through heaps hardships, struggle and pain*

Now. No more medications for me. Taking calcium, omega-3, and vitamin C...for my body, heart, soul and kids in future. Orang kata, minyak ikan/ EPA baguih untuk perkembangan minda anak-anak. Nak buat mental arithmatic/ mensa...nanti la. Abah kena tolong ibu mengira nanti.. :).

p/s: Happy 23rd birthday to my school best friend, Husna. And happy marking exam papers to myself...

Tazkirah: 4 Golongan lelaki ke neraka

Bismillahirahmanirahim...

(Obtained these from my FB link/ note page. For sharing and reminder to myself and others...)

4 golongan lelaki ke neraka ..

Pertama:- 'Ayahnya' - Apabila seseorang yang bergelar ayah tidak memperdulikan anak-anak perempuannya di dunia.Dia tidak memberikan segala keperluan agama seperti mengajar solat, mengaji dan sebagainya.Dia membiarkan anak-anak perempuannya tidak menutup aurat.. tidak cukup kalau dengan hanya memberi kemewahan dunia sahaja maka dia akan ditarik oleh anaknya.

Kedua:- 'Suaminya' - Apabila seorang suami tidak memperdulikan tindak tanduk isterinya. Bergaul bebas di pejabat,memperhiaskan diri bukan untuk suami tapi untuk pandangan kaum lelaki yang bukan mahram,apabila suami mendiamkan diri.. Walaupun dia seorang alim (solat tidak tangguh, puasa tidak tinggal)maka dia akan ditarik oleh isterinya.

Ketiga:- 'Abang-abangnya' - Apabila ayahnya sudah tiada, tanggungjawab menjaga maruah wanita jatuh kepala abang-abangnya.. jikalau mereka hanya mementing keluarganya sahaja dan adik perempuannya dibiar melencong dari ajaran ISLAM. Tunggulah tarikan adiknya di akhirat.

Keempat:-' Anak Lelakinya' - Apabila seorang anak tidak menasihati seorang ibu perihal kelakuan yang haram dari Islam, maka anak itu akan disoal dan dipertangungjawabkan diakhirat kelak.. Nantikan tarikan ibunya.

Maka kita lihat betapa hebatnya tarikan wanita bukan sahaja di dunia malah di akhirat pun tarikannya begitu hebat...maka kaum lelaki yang bergelar ayah / suami / abang atau anak harus memainkan peranan mereka yang sebenar tidaksilap firman ALLAH S.W.T.:-

" Hai anak adam peliharakanlah diri kamu serta ahli kamu dari api neraka,di mana bahan pembakarnya ialah manusia dan batu-batu.."

Hai wanita, kasihankan ayah anda, suami anda,abang-abang anda serta anak-anak lelaki anda..Kesiankanlah mereka dan juga diri kamu sendiri..jalankan perintah ALLAH S.W.T. dengan bersungguh-sungguh dan dengan penuh ikhlas..

Akhir kata, marilah kita berdoa agar kita semua terselamat dari ditarik dan tertarik oleh mana-mana pihak. Harga seseorang muslim adalah sangat berharga.

ALLAH S.W.T. nilaikan seseorang muslim dengan SYURGA.. semua kaum muslim masuk syurga..janganlah kita membuang atau tidak mengendah janji ALLAH S.W.T.

Semoga kita semua tergolong dari ahli syurga yang memasukinya tanpa hisab.